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COSTS ATTORNEY FEES 1. There are many, many costs associated with divorce in addition to our attorney fees. Our charges are competitive. We generally charge by the hour. If you can sit down with your spouse and work out the division of assets and child related issues, you can keep more of your money as when both parties will sign an agreement dividing all marital issues amicably we will charge a flat fee which can save you thousands of dollars. EFFECT ON CHILDREN 2. This divorce will affect your children for the rest of their life. We recommend professional family counseling for all children of divorcing parents. Your children need to know that you love them, that they are not the reason for the divorce, and as their other parent is still part of them, and thev love that other parent as well as you, they do not need to hear from you how bad the other parent is. There will be times that your former spouse will hate you so badly, and will say so much to your children, that you will be forced to explain why you divorced to your children if that includes telling them your other spouse abused you, did drugs, gambled, found another companion, or that you just could not get along, and so forth. If the other spouse simply disappears out of their lives, there is really no reason to tell the children how bad they are as the children will figure that one out for themselves. Children need both parents. If you have custody, make it a point to be there when it is time for the other spouses visitation. Make it a point to give the other spouse a copy of ball game schedules or schedules for other activities that your children are involved in. Make sure the non custodial spouse has invites from the child to all events that are important to the child's life. This is not about you not wanting to be around that person, this is about your child's mental health. Just seeing the other spouse can help your child grow up knowing he is loved by both parents. On the other hand, if your other spouse is an abuser, fight for supervised visitation to protect your children. Probably fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. Why me? GROWING APART MAYBE LOVE AND ATTENTION HAS BEEN MISSING AND CAN BE REVIVED? 1. Some spouses work really hard to support the other spouse and children, forgetting that the spouse needs attention in the relationship. Money alone won't buy happiness in a relationship. You have to spend QUALITY time with your spouse. Before you come to see us, try marriage counseling if you think there is any hope of saving your marriage. Try setting up a date night. Spend the money on a babysitter and a meal, or eventually an attorney. You are still the same people, try to find the things that you fell in love with so long ago. Never forget special dates. A phone call to say, "I love you," a breakfast in bed, taking your spouse out to lunch, picking wild flowers, mailing a card, and other little things can work wonders. If there is no saving your marriage, you can get a divorce on the grounds of incompatibility. Since you are looking at this page, your problems are probably bigger than you can handle by yourself. We are happy to provide limited marriage counseling / analysis if you need this service, or to refer you for professional help along this line, if after a consultation with us, you determine this is the course of action you wish to take. FINANCES 2. Some spouses just don't have enough money to make the relationship work. Sometimes sound financial counseling with an attorney can help tremendously. Bankruptcy can solve problems and save your marriage. Bankruptcy is also an option before you divorce as opposed to trying to stick each other with all the debt in your divorce fight. ANOTHER LOVER 3. There is not a lot you can do if someone has found someone else, other than cut your losses by trying to decide how you want to divide assets, child custody and visitation before you come see us. ABUSE 4. You do not have to stay in a relationship where you are abused either physically or mentally. You are legally entitled to a divorce in this situation and you can obtain a divorce on other grounds as well. Children witnessing domestic violence are affected in many ways. There are shelters available and if you are being physically abused we urge you to contact us or your local police to find a shelter to move to immediately to get yourself and any children you may have out of the relationship.
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